Non-violence and Honesty

One of the great things about life in general, but especially life here in Cochabamba, is that I find myself doing things I never would have thought of before.  Since the 50^th year anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I have a Dream” speech just passed, I think it timely to remember the value of active non-violence and seeking to resolve conflicts (that involve deep hurts and pains) with communication that is also non-violent.  While I am a fan of non-violence, I am a novice anxious to learn more, and an opportunity came up in July to participate in a non-violence workshop.

One of the current FMS missioners here in Cochabamba has experience with a non-violence workshop constructed by Pace Bene, a group from the U.S.  Using that text and her experience with Pace Bene, she was asked to give a 2 day workshop to the group of Franciscan friar students and I got to help her out in the process, which taught me a lot. 

We started out the workshop asking everyone to light a candle and tell the rest of the group what the meaning behind their name is. It was beautiful to see a little bit of the story behind each person by a simple telling of why they have the name they have. I saw pride in each person’s identity, a connectedness with their past and with their families. In sharing the story behind my name, I also felt a sense of pride and joy in who I am and where I come from. It felt good to have the opportunity to share and be heard.

There were many exercises that challenged us on what is violence and what is non-violence in our own perceptions. When one comes to recognize all the violence within oneself, it seems a daunting task to transform it. To help, we talked about some techniques to help as well as looking at the example of non-violent people we know or know of.

Since we also talked about interpersonal relations and communication on one of our radio shows, I will share a tip that has served useful to me recently in non-violent communication and that is - clarifying perceptions - starting with asking questions. We may feel angry or hurt by something said when what the other person meant to communicate was totally different, so it’s important to clarify.

Of course another value or principle that helps in communication is honesty and August was Justice and Peace’s month to focus on honesty. August 17^th is Bolivia’s flag day and the Justice and Peace movement decided about 10 years ago to use Flag Day as an entry-way to promote that Bolivians be more honest, since the flag should represent the values and principles of a country’s people. Each year they chose a different theme, like against bribery, or in favor of fair wages and dignified work, or paying taxes instead of buying from the black market, or promoting honesty in government officials etc. 

This year the theme was honesty in education: in the family, in schools and universities, and in other parts of society like religions. Of course we all could be more honest in all parts of the world and not just in August, but it’s a good excuse to bring it up at least once each year. We had some great national folkloric music at our tent in a plaza this year on Flag Day, and were able to talk with lots of people about the honesty campaign. Talking with people about the cheating, copying and lying that happens with students at such an early age, I was reminded how grateful I am for the Honor Code I signed at my university and how much it was an expectation in the culture of the institution, which I think makes it a little easier to abide by, but it also made me wonder…what happens when honesty is not an expectation?  Food for thought!  Until next time, I hope you are well!

5 things I’m thankful for today: the unexpected rain falling on the roof and on the dry arid land; having been given another year of life; homemade yogurt I bought from a French brother; getting to sleep in on a Sunday; meeting new babies.